Last night my ears decided they were not sending enough sound to my brain. To compensate, they gave me the gift of tinnitus!
No more pesky silence for me- now I get the joys of a high pitched whine ALL DAY! Bonus: when I think about it, it gets LOUDER!
Now, I know what you’r thinking: “That’s not fair! Why does Luke get to hear the tiniest vuvuzela all day while I hear nothing? THIS IS SO UNFAIR.” Don’t worry – there is hope! I give you THE TINNITUS SIMULATOR!
Just play this clip in the background for the rest of your life:
The best thing about Google Voice is the ability to never have to speak to a car dealer over the phone. A very close second is the wacky automatic transcription service. A sample:
Yeah, Hello, this is for Lotus. Hey, look, is. This is J from Doughty Honda so awful. Would you regard to the Honda Civic Hybrid you were interested in just walking in the question 90, an offer got my last email. When you get a chance let me know. It’s up to better assist you. You can reach me back directly, or email me back. At (###) ###-####. Hans J tank from counting on in the city of alright bro, thanks a lot. You have a great day.
I’m not sure where “the city of alright bro” is, but I’d bet Lebowski lives there. Also: I apparently have been given a bitchin’ hippie name, and Doughty Honda has some self esteem issues.
I interviewed today at a school that’s pretty progressive and laid back. Teachers tend to wear jeans and t-shirts. I was wearing my Interview Suit: black suit, light colored shirt, dark tie. There was a class of 1st & 2nd grade kids near the gate. As I walked in, one of them yelled “THE PRESIDENT IS COMING!”
So, I was in the hangar at Ferris Aircraft, monkeying around with a cockpit simulator, when all of the sudden the door slams shut and there’s this weird green light all around. Next thing you know, the simulator- the SIMULATOR, not a real plane- takes off, and I’m flying over the desert! I wasn’t scared- I’m pretty much fearless- but boy, what a trip!
So, the thing finally lands, and – I swear to God – there’s a freakin’ spaceship! This dude with a really bad sunburn says “you have been chosen,” throws his jewelry at me, and DIES.
This is the ring he threw at me. I sold it on ebay – I got fifty bucks! Well, I haven’t got it yet, but I will when the check gets here from Qward.
